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Oo ees zis woman?

25/04/2012

Why do seemingly half the voices on the British broadcast media appear to believe that the Socialist candidate for the French Presidency is a woman called Françoise Hollande?

It would be hard to make François Hollande more risible than he already is. How is it possible to take seriously a man who redefines the word ‘grey’ and who thinks it’s a merit that he has had no ambition other than to be President since he was eight years old? Most people grow out of it. He almost makes Ed Miliband appear worldly. Whenever I see his spud-like face, I am reminded of Peter Cook’s acerbic description of David Frost as someone who “has risen without trace”.

The domestic analogy would be to have the front-runner for the UK Presidency (yes, I know, but stay with me) to be Iain McNicol.Who?”, you will be thinking, thus proving my point. The high-point of Hollande’s career was as First Secretary of the French Socialist Party, and McNicol is the all-but invisible General Secretary of the Labour Party. Hollande was widely blamed for his long-term partner, Ségolène Royal, losing the presidential election to Sarkozy on 2007; he then immediately binned her. McNicol is largely blamed for Labour losing the recent Bradford West by-election to George Galloway, its worst drubbing in 30 years; he then vanished for a skiing holiday.

Oh gods, I’m getting serious again. Sorry.

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. [George Eliot, a woman with a man’s name instead of a man with a woman’s name]

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