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What’s in a (domain) name?

08/06/2012

After our e-x-t-e-n-d-e-d Jubilee celebrations it’s Friday again, and time for some more (very) cheap laughs. I was surprised to be invited to propose the Loyal Toast at a formal dinner on Saturday, but not half as surprised as my ‘host’ when I told him that I was a convinced republican. Still, I managed it without being silly or disrespectful, and without compromising my principles. I was cordially booed and hissed, sure, but not tarred and feathered. Researching the speech, I learned a lot about the monarchy and so did they!

Have you ever wondered why some people don’t look twice – or even three times – at the URL they are registering, and consider how it might appear to a jaundiced, cynical, mischievous, playful, naughty eye? Enjoy the following inglorious examples:

Powergen Italia (a specialist battery manufacturer, and not UK Powergen’s Italian subsidiary) once used the web address http://www.PowerGenitalia.com.

Who Represents, a site listing celebrities and their agents, is at http://www.WhorePresents.com.

Pen Island, where you can supposedly buy custom-made pens, is at http://www.PenisLand.net. Having checked it, however, the site looks suspiciously spoof-like to me. Still, never let the inconvenient truth stand in the way of a good (or even bad) joke.

Les Bocages is the company name of a British tree-surgeon operating in Brittany. “Bocage” is the French word for grove or copse.  The website is at http://www.LesboCages.com.

Continuing the French theme, La Drape is a British company that specialises in very high-quality quilts, throws and furnishing fabrics for the bedroom. The website is http://www.LadRape.com.

Could owning a Apple Macintosh make you more butch? Find out at the website of macHome magazine: http://www.MachoMe.com.

Experts Exchange, a programming advice and discussion website, used to be at http://www.ExpertSexChange.com. It has now grown a hyphen, so to speak (fnarrr), doubtless after receiving one too many anguished enquiries about transgender surgery.

Had you needed to find a West Coast therapist, you could previously have used http://www.TheRapistFinder.com. It has, disappointingly, now changed to http://www.counselingcalifornia.com.

Are you planning a trip to Lake Tahoe North, as Webwrights’ sister did recently? Its tourism website is at http://www.GotaHoeNorth.com.

Big Al’s On-Line aquarium store is open for business at http://www.BiGalsOnline.com.

Situated in rural New South Wales, Australia, the renowned Mole Station Native Nursery for indigenous plants is at http://www.molerivernursery.com. The address used to be the rather more exciting http://www.MolestationNursery.com.

Ferreth and Jobs may, or quite possibly may not, be a fine commercial enterprise in Pennsylvania. For some strange reason, its previous website address of http://www.FerretHandJobs.com now redirects, disappointingly, to http://www.ferrethjobs.com.

Odds Extractor, a gambling resources website, used to be at http://www.OddSexTractor.com. It has since moved to http://www.betangel.com.

Children’s Wear, a UK company that specializes in formal wear for children, is at http://www.ChildrenSwear.co.uk.

Comprehensive information on where to stay and what to see along the canals of New York state is available to browse at http://www.NycAnals.com.

Mammoth Scaffold Erection Services, a fine Canadian company, can be found at http://www.MammothErection.com. It has a number of churches as valued clients.

The small town of Winters, California has a local newspaper called Winters Express, which can be read online at http://www.WinterSexPress.com.

Finally, in the tax-friendly Cook Islands, the top-level domain is .ck, and .co is used for second-level commercial domains. Thus, the Cook Island News has the address: http://www.cinews.Co.ck.

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