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Julian Assange’s next implausible defence?



When I found this headline from last January, I thought (well, more like fervently hoped, to be honest) that it was from a newspaper in Norwalk, Connecticut. You see, I know a man who used to live thereabouts (and who suffers from delusions of adequacy) who would be quite capable of running it as a straight-faced exoneration of his … er … sociopathic nature. Sadly, however, it’s from Norwalk, Ohio.

Incidentally, as I write this Mark Wallace, a Libertarian blogger here in the UK, is inviting donations for the Assange Fire Alarm Fund. The proposal is that someone could impishly set off the fire alarm in the Ecuadorian Embassy and thus flush the hypocritical, discredited megalomaniac, “Saint” Julian, out onto the street and into the arms of our patient, welcoming Plod. It all started out as a Twitter joke, but has subsequently mushroomed to serious wedge; at £6,500 it is already 2.5 times the average Ecuadorian annual wage. Perhaps an Olympic straggler from suburban Quito will stroll along, ring that bell and claim the prize.

As someone shouted when the posturing John Inman lookalike started preaching from his balcony (“But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the beast, and Julian’s on the run”) to his morally-myopic, witless groupies on Sunday: “He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy”.

EDIT: Oooo, look. According to this website, Quito was ‘colonised’ far more recently than we had supposed:


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