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The brightest and the best? Doan mek uz laff, pet!


We had a batch of local elections in the UK yesterday, as well as one by-election for Parliament. The other, better, cleverer, more talented, less adenoidal, more experienced, vastly more interesting Miliband brother, David, had resigned his seat in the North-East of England, to go to New York to run a charity.  Ed continues to make a wretchedly poor fist of masquerading as the leader of the Labour Party.

South Shields, in what used to be our industrial heartland – shipbuilding, coal-mining, fishing, glass-making, chemicals – is a constituency which has been staunchly Labour since God was a boy, or girl. As it happens, the racing certainty of election to Parliament was handed to someone who – well, let’s be charitable – writes the way she speaks; and she’s a lousy speaker. Emma Lewell-Buck has been given one of the safest seats in the country, and will have the responsibility of debating and drafting legislation for another 30/40/50 years – in English.

She didn’t learn much from her half-degree in Media Studies about writing English. I started marking up her existing local councillor’s profile, to show the punctuation and spelling flubs, but there were soon so many red circles that it began to look like an advertisement  for bubbles. So, you can all have fun with it, instead. If she couldn’t copy-edit it herself, perhaps she could have asked a less illiterate friend to take a look.


I am indebted to The Commentator for bringing this fine example of English-written-with-the-elbows to a wider audience.

The only interesting and unpredictable thing about the election was that the Liberal Democrats, supposedly the third force in British politics, came waaaaaay seventh, behind some of the fruitcake parties. Indeed, they scored less than half the votes recorded by the (er) disagreeable ‘ultra-nationalist’ knuckle-draggers of the British National Party.


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